The Late Judge Joel Asarch-A message from the Other Side

January 7, 2014

by Diane Wilson

The late Judge Joel Asarch was the probate judge in my mother’s guardianship case. He was the one who oversaw everything from the very beginning, and appointed Anne Recht (AMRecht Assoc in Plainview) as geriatric “care” manager and Mary Giordano (elder care attorney with Franchina and Giordano in Garden City) as Mom’s “guardian.” He was the one who signed the papers to put my mother in a nursing home. Although he verbally made that order on August 1, 2011, he did not actually sign the papers until August 19, a Friday. Judge Asarch was under investigation by the New York State Judicial Commission due to all of the complaints I filed against him, but he signed it anyway. I always thought that he knew he was wrong. I think he also knew he was finally caught in the web of corruption of his own making and that his time was up.

During the years of this horrific ordeal and after, I had many dreams involving the judge and the guardian. After Mom died, the dreams continued. However, what I want to share with you was something very different; an actual conversation. It was an amazing vision of the late Judge and a conversation I had with him a few months ago.

In this vision, Judge Asarch had tears streaming down his face. He was sitting on a “bench” with other judges who had also passed to the Other Side, and they were all watching a big screen. On that screen were images of all of their corrupt doings; all of the illegal actions they did during their time as judges. It showed all the money they took “under the table” to make those rulings. They were watching images of all of the people whose lives they destroyed. The anger that I felt welling up inside me towards this evil man surprised me. I realized I am not ready to forgive him, not yet, not now, but maybe someday.

He told me he didn’t expect me to forgive him. And then he said “Bravo to you, Ms. Wilson.” He was actually acknowledging the fact that I stood up to him and the others; something no one else had done all these years. I was crying and asking him why did he do what he did, knowing that I was the one who wanted to care for my mother; knowing that my siblings didn’t want to care for her at all. His face was extremely sad, and the tears continued. “Yes, we all knew you should have been caring for your mother. We all knew the others did not want to be bothered. But it was part of the game.”

I asked him why he treated my brother in such a deferential and kind manner despite the way my brother spoke to everyone; despite the complaints from the aides about him and the fact that every time he showed up in court he was dressed so disrespectfully—in sweat-shorts, a T-shirt and sneakers. Asarch said, “Again, it was part of the game, to divide the family.” He then told me that the others would continue to lie about me and twist the truth; that I needed to remain calm, professional, truthful and stick to the facts. This man, or ghost if you want to call him that, was giving me the advice he learned too late. I already knew this.

I then asked him why he was so corrupt and when he got involved. He told me “From the beginning. Once I got on the bench, it was all around me. Everybody was making deals. It was so easy to do. The power was heady, the money was flowing freely.”
That was it. Just like that….as soon as he got on the bench the corruption was going on all around him and it was “so easy to do.” I think that was the answer that upset me the most; “It was so easy to do.” I wondered, if everyone is simply killing everyone else, does that make it right and easy to do? If everyone is stealing everyone else’s money, is that so easy to do? What about ethics? What about morals? What about compassion, care and concern for humanity and just doing the right thing? Where does that fit in? What about the values a person is raised with?

I believe that God wanted me to know that this man was paying a very heavy price on the Other Side, and that he had a lot of work to do to pay for his crimes against humanity. I believe God wanted to relieve some of my pain. And for that I will always be extremely grateful.